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The_Speed_of_pain
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Member Since: 8/20/2003

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Friday, December 23, 2011

Currently
Talk That Talk
By Rihanna
We Fell In Love
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Do It Again

Hey there peoples!

I decided since its almost Jew Christmas there should be a Jew Christmas miracle --- so I updated my Xanga. Life isn't bad. I'm in bed in my lovely green room on the best computer I have ever had in my life. Today I was woken up by my dad's best friend (slash sister's godfather) with freshly baked poppy seed buns and tea. Last night's Jiu Jitsu class was great (for those of you who don't know, I've taken up MMA and Jiu Jitsu) and my trainer complimented me and said I'm getting much better and I've really learned to put my weight on someone. Which is an accomplishment for all 98lbs of me. I'm still trying to gain weight so I can at least weight three digits... But there shall be plenty of dinners this week for me to get a chance to do just that. I'm sad that Christmas falls on a Sunday and that New Years Day also falls on a Sunday, because that means I miss MMA training twice in a row.... but my father did get me a huge punching bag (which I haven't put together yet because I need more rags. And to get sand. But the sand isn't as much of a problem), so I will be attempting to stay in fighting form.

Love wise I'm still single (go me!), however, not entirely Igor-less, so I guess I will also be having to make some decisions over this holiday season. I am happier lately.. I have more of a life, see more friends, do more things, and am generally more exuberant.

I've had a rough time in school this semester.... still have another year to go. I'm no longer editor of the newspaper, and won't be next semester again. However, next semester I want to run for student government. Because now controlling the media isn't enough for me. Plus, I feel like it would be good to see if I can win a college election before I run for public office in NYC after college -- which will be a lot harder. But I have no doubts that I can win. I'm running as either VP or Speaker because speaker has the most power. That, and passing my classes is the goal next semester.

I'm going to be trying to find a new place to write for.. my resume needs to be updated and I need to publish myself on a few more websites. This should be easier considering I no longer have the newspaper weighing at me.

I've spent quite a bit of time this semester at Occupy protests and other protests going on around the city -- there's been something about every other day. I was kind of skeptical on Occupy when it started but as months went on I am getting more and more fed up with our government. I hope the movement doesn't die out this winter, supposedly it should be back full force in the Spring, but that may cause it to loose its momentum.

Mkk. I'm all updated for now. I'm pretty boring. But happy.


Monday, August 29, 2011

Even though I never do... today I feel like updating this thing. I used to looove to record day after day on my xanga... I guess I've gotten better things to do now that I'm all older and shit. =P

Its been a good summer. Actually, if I bothered to calculate every day, my summer was probably useless and sucky, but I feel good today so at the end of the day, my summer couldn't have been terrible. Which by default makes it good. I've broken up with Igor, so... no more three and a half year long relationship. Haven't been single in five years total and now I am.. and it feels very odd but I like being in control of my own life and being selfish lol, and not constantly having to compromise for someone. Relationships are difficult. Just when you think you know how things are supposed to work you grow up a little more and realize there are bigger problems that you're just not ready to deal with. I don't know if that sounds odd or not. To be in a relationship for a long time two people have got to grow in the same direction and that just doesn't happen at 22. Not for someone like me. There's a lot I know and I lot I'm still trying to figure out and .. well, Igor and I are in totally different places of "figuring stuff out." It just wasn't working out, and that's okay, that happens in life.

Other than that, I started MMA classes because my greatest desire is to violently disfigure someone's face, and it has always been. I just think fighting is a great life skill. I'm just not one of those motherfucking douchebag peace and love fucking hippes, who I would loooooove to meet one day. Actually, I'd loooove to meet most of my college in a dark bar one night.. those people with their "Marx is wonderful and Che Guevara is great" lines... oh yes baby. Anyway, I refuse to be one of those girls who can be fucked with, and I didn't want to just do stupid girl self-defense classes. Like if some asshole tries to rape me, I want to disembowel him, not just hit him and run away. I would really like to join the army or marines, and I brought the idea up to my dad who actually wasn't opposed (he's an army man himself... though it was the Soviet Union's Red Army... but hey, their army teaches them karate, sword fighting, even how to use nun-chucks so...), but I'm still thinking about it myself because there's a couple of wars on and as much as I love the thought of shooting at people, I'm not completely insane and don't entirely believe in shooting at these particular people I should be shooting at. But its the army... where else would you get the skills, the discipline... like my cousin who is a sergeant in the Israeli army told me, and I agree with her, that "You're just not a person, not a real human being until you've been in the army."

Personally, as long as we're on this topic, I think a few years of military service should be mandatory and could only help our situation. Have you seen today's "men"? These video game playing, not wanting to work, constantly whining and crying about some shit, mommy and daddy issued, afraid to take care of their women and children, never walked into a gym "men"? Drink a 6-pack a day as if they deserve that shit. I hate it. I personally don't know how I'll ever date again because all men have become little pussy bitches. There are no less foul words because these are the only words that can describe to which extent manliness has been eradicated. Where are the Red Foremans of the world? Why don't they make them like that anymore???

What else.... planning a few more tattoos in the near future... trying to GAIN weight for a change... it'll help with my girly MMA bod, but yeah, trying to eat more, which is harder than I ever thought it would be lol... Oh, I have been working a lot with non-profits lately and realized I love it as much as I love journalism and reporting... so if I wind up in the non-profit sector for the rest of my life, I'd be happy as a whistle. It doesn't seem like it from what I wrote above I'm sure, but I love to help people. I think if you're not doing something with your life that is benefitting someone else, you're kind of a scumbag. Selfless living is where its at. I don't understand these girls my age, caught up in shopping and makeup and being with their boyfriend.. Get a perspective on things. People are dying across the world from war and sickness and starvation, you and your silly first-world problems are nothing. If we don't send people to the army for a few years to gain some perspective, lets send them to Africa.... I think its necessary to care about yourself of course, but only to a certain extent. Most of the reasons that people are unhappy is because they are so self-centered, and deep down know that they aren't all that important. I highly recommend that all unhappy people should begin to work for others, whether it is volunteering, or taking up some part-time at a non-profit, or a career that'll benefit someone. Nothing else really gives anyone any sense of purpose, I guarantee.

Ahem.. despite my violent streak, I'm totally zen and mindful. Most of my non-profit work has been in the activism, advocacy, and policy-change fields, which is perfect for me because there is nothing I love more than politics. And activism makes me horny. No really, it does. People need to stick their necks out and voices out before they dissapear and encouraging groups of college students to do that in such a way that it actually changes laws is the most productive thing I can do right now.

I really hope someone still reads this, so if you do, leave me a comment and just say hi. That would be nice. I kind of wonder if I'm talking to myself only these days. =] Cheers xanga world, love you all.



Saturday, April 23, 2011

All the answers are simple. If you haven't realized that yet, you're going to soon.


Monday, September 13, 2010

Good morning. I'm sooo exhausted today. I went to Kira's last night and practically passed out at 11.. went home around 12, and was asleep by 12:15.

I need to apply for jobs. I'm sooo broke, with no money on the horizon. At least I'm usually broke with the promise that someone will pay me later. I was hoping some of my clients would call me, but I don't think too many people have essays or papers due yet (I do people's papers and homework for moneys in case you haven't gathered). So I guess I'll apply for some other online article writing jobs. I also don't know if I want to do freelance writing.. I kind of want a job job, but then again.... I became a writer to avoid the job job.

Sooo... my family won't leave me alone about how skinny I am.. which sucks. Because I don't want to be this skinny either.. but I eat a ton every day and keep losing weight. I don't want matchstick legs, that's fucking ugly. Clothes fit me the way I always wanted, but what's the point if I have the body of a pre-pubescent boy? My tits have even shrunk, which makes me incredibly sad. But, I guess I'm going to commit to paying more attention to my eating habits and making sure I several times a day. I'm trying to gain at least five pounds. And my DD cup size back

I'm going to go get ready for class now.


Saturday, September 11, 2010

It has been a long night.

I left Brooklyn College at 1 a.m. Yes, 1 a.m. I forgot what it was like to be the editor of the newspaper. Except this is worse, because I only have two days to put it together. And we are SUPER short on content this week and have 9 pages. Which would be okay, except the printer only prints either 8 pages, or 12 pages. Now, there is absolutely nothing I can cut, otherwise it'll be a crappy paper. Also, I have nothing to add. We are just short on writers. Two of the arts writers dropped out this week and our one sports writer is taking an extended vacation. I have no more material.

And obviously I'm not done so I'll have to be in tomorrow morning, which sucks. I was planning to only have to come in for an hour.. my sister has been home from daycare for the holidays for three days now, and I've only gotten to spend half of a day with her because I have to keep running to stupid school for class or newspaper, and it sucks, I don't care that she's not even four yet, she's the best person on earth.

Anyway.. I am going to spend the next few hours on the Brooklyn College website figuring out what I can add...



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